Who's Watching?

“The moment I realized anyone could be watching―and this is going to sound so name-droppy―was when Ricky Martin reached out to me on Coming Out Day 2012. The Internet has this massive potential, and you can never know the effect you might have on others by just being yourself.” ― Tyler Oakley

If you have an Apple Watch, you probably love the Activity app. For those of you who don’t have the watch, the app keeps track of your movement and encourages you to meet fitness goals with three rings you try to close on a daily basis. The app is by far my favorite feature on the watch and I enjoy working daily to close those rings. Since I’m a yoga teacher/fitness enthusiast, I don’t often have trouble closing them, but when I forget to press the icon that keeps track of say, my plank routine, I’m bummed because I want it to “count.”

Count?? Who’s watching/counting? Apple and those they share my data with? Why do I want my watch to like me?

It reminds me of when I used to teach German and the class would eagerly raise their hands to answer a question. If the student I called on had the correct answer, the others would express frustration because no one had acknowledged that, damnit, they had known the answer too!

Why did they need that outside acknowledgement? Why am I bummed if Tim Cook doesn’t know I planked? Why does Angie call Ainslie “teacher’s pet” when I praise one of Ainslie’s poses?

We all have a basic need to be noticed and praised. In this post I’m neither going to get into the biological/psycho-emotional reasons for this impulse, nor am I going to discuss how tech giants like Apple and Facebook manipulate this need in order to sell us their products and collect our data. Instead, I’m going to briefly pivot the conversation to the massive potential this need has to help us to grow individually and collectively.

You know deep down who you are. You know you had the correct answer in German class. You know that you planked, that you did your best with that yoga pose. You know you’re trying to raise your kids to be responsible and loving, that you have your friends’ and family’s backs, and that you’re committed to your community.

I hope you keep that inner narrative. I also hope that you accept your need for outside acknowledgement. I hope you take both of these narratives and authentically spread them.

Because whether it’s you, your teacher or Ricky Martin, anyone could be watching, and you never know the effect you have on others just by being yourself.