I See You

“How hidden the heart… How frightened we are of being known, and yet how desperately we long for it.” ― Hannah Kent

“For all his secrecy and fear of being seen, he was touched that we had observed him so closely, and with such love. He loved that we knew him. This is one reason people need to believe in God -- because we want someone to know us, truly, all the way through, even the worst of us.” ― Tim Kreider

When Margot invited me to join her at the NYC Pride March last month, I dropped everything on my schedule. I was born and raised in New Jersey not far from the city, so have been there many times. There’s so much I love about New York, but I try to avoid crazy busy crowds like the ones at New Year’s Eve in Times Square or the M&M store at Christmas. Crowds in NYC are unavoidable, though, so if you want to watch the ball drop, go to the M&M store during the holidays, or take the Circle Line to the Statue of Liberty in the summer, you’re going to run into people.

But this crowd was different. I’ve never been part of a crowd where so many people were clamoring to be seen. People were showcasing, one-upping each other with outrageous costumes, dancing, pushing nudity boundaries; Chuck Schumer marched with a megaphone.

As onlookers, Margot and I were all about it. Like more than a million others, we were there to see those who wanted to be seen. And despite the shoulder-to-shoulder crowds, I didn’t see one frown.

I would argue, as Kent and Kreider alluded to in the opening quotes, that our most fundamental spiritual need is to be seen; to be loved and accepted for who we are. It’s at the root of our yoga practice: we actively observe (i.e., see) ourselves moment to moment responding to challenges, to triumphs, to defeats, all of it. We try to do so nonjudgmentally and with compassion and acceptance.

So I would add to Kent’s and Kreider’s allusions that, in addition to needing to be seen, we have a fundamental spiritual need to see. And as we actively practice observing/seeing ourselves with compassion and acceptance on our mats or cushions, ideally, we also actively practice doing so at parades and in our relationships.

I hope I can make it to NYC Pride again next year. If not, I’ll be there in spirit.